Jika

Kalau saya begini, lalu kamu akan bagaimana?

Gombal-but-lovely of the day

"Sebenernya hidup aku sih baik-baik aja, hidup kamu juga mungkin baik-baik aja. Tapi hidup aku lebih sempurna kalo sama kamu." -Je

Senja itu

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.
.

Ada yang tersenyum melihatmu
Disana
Sepertinya ia rindu melihatmu

Masa?

Iyaaa
Lihat,
langit cerah kali ini
kemerahan
pekat
Tapi kamu harus lihat kesana,
disana ia tersenyum malu melihatmu

Akupun melihatnya
Tersenyum lebar
Manis
Wajahnya berseri-seri
Ramah
Dikelilingin awan kemerahan

Maaf,
aku memalingkan wajahku darimu

Sekejap kemudian kamu menangis
Deras

Lalu,
senyum itu

Pergi

Who?

Siapa?
Orang itu siapa?

Hehe

Tolong
bilang.

Tolong
.

Saya betul-betul harus ngerti.

Siapa?

Walking away

Satu tetes
Dua tetes
Tiga
.....

Lalu saya menengok ke belakang
Matahariku terbit
Langit merekah

Lalu menjauh

Jejak langkahku pun begitu

Dan mata pun kembali basah.

Rin·du

Selalu
Selalu
Akan
Selalu

Saya gapernah sebegini rindunya sama sesuatu yang akan saya tinggalkan
Saya juga gapernah betul-betul pergi
Biasanya, saya adalah yang diam, bahkan yang berjalan keluar bersama-sama

Tapi saya yang akan pergi
Betul-betul sedikit lagi

Betul,
betul

Saya rindu.

Hi, 2017!

#2016bestnine based on instagram

Actually, I'm not that kind of person who celebrate new year, hehehe, but I feel so much blessed for everything happened in 2016.

The picture surely summarize my 2016. The people, the moment, the feeling.

I cannot introduce all the people, no, but I feel I should tell you what's best of 2016.

The first one that I have is those people on the bottom right picture. My friends since 10th grade, Mustika, Astrid, Ayu, and Febry. They really there seeing me grow up from that kind of little girl, hehehehe. See you on top, guys.

Second, I really enjoy all the basketball match that I've joined since freshman, and you should see my last team on the middle of the picture. Lovely people.

Third, you should see my big family, Psikopad13, on the middle left of the picture. Surely I had my 3,5 great years with these top people. I'm sorry for all mistakes that I've done. I truly can't live my life in this tiny Jatinangor without you.

Forth, my last organization in my college life, #PSDMSQUAD, whom teach me how to be an older sister, hahahaha. Please look the bottom left picture. Thanks to Gaida, kadeptku sayang, karena sudah kasih kesempatan buat jadi bagian dari PSDM BEM #KITA 2016. Maafin pisannn karena kurangnya masi banyak banget. Buat Odi, Kenneth dan Amel, goodluck for the next one, PSDM 2017. Buat Mira, trimakasi sudah banyak membantu di TFF dan maaf juga kalo ku masih belom bisa kerjasama dengan oke. Buat Resty, our teddy bear, keep being cute, ya Res, wkwkwk, lain kali ku beli lipstik deh hahaha. Buat Akhdan, remember to see people around you. See you when I see you, kesayangan.

Fifth, my very first bestfriends in college, Adila and Louis, on the middle right picture. I cannot even say a word for you two, but I'm waiting for our next dinner.

Sixth, my saviour, on the top left and bottom middle picture, (should I say your name again guys? Kayaknya pembaca udah bosen, hahahaha) Adila Zetta Ami Manda Eja Dwita. Penyelamat sarapan pagiku, soto koya, dan penyelamat segala kebosanan hidupku di Jatinangor, dan penyelamat kelompok in almost every subject, wkwkwkwk, dan segala penyelamatan lainnya, hehehehe. We should plan our next holiday after the last trip, guys.

Seventh, sebagai penutup 2016, I've done my 1/3 S.Psi, sidang proposal. Seriously I've got so much work to do for half of 2017. And I pray for much motivation to finish my research.

The last one, as my future spouse, on the top middle picture, (ini juga kayaknya udah sering disebut-sebut namanya) Jelang-cuy-yang-kudoakan-endutan-dikit-aja. I shouldn't tell you anymore about our engagement, right? Wkwkwk kalo udah punya katanya boleh sombong. So, this 8,5 months will be my last single months, aamiiinn yaAllah. Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiim for the preparation, the wedding, and our next journey, dear. 

So, what's next, 2017?

One Moment in Life

Surely had one moment in life. I thank you my big family, Psikopad13, for 3,5 years we had. I hope everything's goin' good for your life.

I really thank my very first bestfriend, Adila and Louis, for always be there, and watch us grow, and find a way back to us.

I really thank my lovely bestfriends, Adila Ami Zetta Manda Dwita Eja, for always be a home, for everything.

I really thank my partners, every groupworks, academic and others, for every struggle we always did.

I really am sorry, for every mistakes I did.

Hopefully we'll be success together, in every way we choose, on everything we love.

I love you, always.

Psikopad13

Steps

Hi, everyone.
How are you?

That's a question that I need from somebody.
Because I don't know what to answer.

Jadi, tadi siang lagi di kantin aja gitu. Bersama orang-orang hebat di sekitarku.
Ada yang sedang ini, dan itu.
Ada yang ingin ini, dan itu.
Ada yang akan ini, dan itu
Ada yang merasa begini, dan begitu.

Terus kamu sendiri gimana, Nis?

Hehe, idk.

Last 2 weeks I've just known something that never been a problem for me.

Ask me, what I really am like.
Ask me, what I really am excited to.
Ask me, what I really gonna do next days.
I don't even really know.

I've been wondering how people decided what they love.
I've been trying to understand why I can't choose things.

I've always been in the middle of water.
I'm goin' wherever it goes.
I believe water it's the first creation of God.
Which always be the needs for everyone.
Which always be the rain, then it gives bless for people.

I've never choose to be in that.
I trust You, God, that everybody has their own steps to wherever they will be.
I believe that You always give the best for your creation.
I believe that we will always be on the right path, as long as we try, as long as we trust You, as long as we pray.

Then how could it be so hard to choose what I gonna be,
whereas I believe that Your destiny is the best for us?

From Zetta :)

i.
when we first saw you
you always have been glowing
either by your smiles
or crescent eyes
or words so wise

also even more
once you've met your sun
two years ago

ii.
and as how the sky turned
bright
at 5 am
and the fog has been gone
by 7 in the morning,

you fell for him
so sudden

and all at once

and also all at once
you
grew your wings
and flew
away to his golden rays

iii.
we saw
as your crescents advanced to
halves

and halves aged to
a pearl
in our skies

iv.
we watched you
grow your soul
and thank him
for letting you bloom
into a kind of beauty

so perfect

that we've long learnt
how you actually are

v.
now you might've reside
with him in the sky,

but you will always
be remembered
as our glowing,

growing,

little girl

who made us into
better souls
for ourselves
and each others

who grew us wings
to soar into the sky
cherishing you
and your sun
as something ethereally exquisite
we could encounter
frequently:

as you and your sun
reunite
at every dawn
starting new days
together

- may your union lasts forever, and always be blessed in each step you take with him. we love you.

(October 14th, 2016)